Ding! Gratz!

1.79 patch up for DAoC

2005-09-13T14:45:00.000-07:00

First off, Mythic warns players not to try the new epic armor quests on the herald. Seems there's an issue with not being able to actually start the quests.

From the Camelot Herald:

Please don't try to start the new epic quests at this time, at least until I can give you an update here on the Herald. And please, spread the word to those who do not read the Herald.

Many players reporting they cannot actually play, as they crash to desktop on log in. Apparently the fix for this is to connect to the test server, as Mythic didn't properly synch the builds, and some files are missing from the patcher for the Live servers.

Last of all, many players are reporting they are able to port, or are being ported, to enemy capital cities. After the initial shock of seeing the wrong zone, many took screen shots, or participated in many a PvPers dream: killing level 1 characters without repercussion.

Yep, it's another well tested MMOG patch

Let off the list, and other DUH of the day that is 8/10/05

2005-08-10T21:37:00.000-07:00

IGN's latest top 100 games list is notable for two reasons. First, unlike the Readers List of 99 games it does not demand that I eat chicken regularly. Second, it sucks slightly less. Actually, this list, compiled by IGN's editors, isn't bad at all. Solidly historical, more than fair to PC gaming. (Remember PC gaming? No. That's OK. Neither does the industry). I was going to give it a whole "Left off the list" treatment, but there's not that much to bitch about. No Nethack, no Zork, light on adventure games in general, Warcraft and Diablo probably deserved a place, WTF no Planescape Torment, and we're just about done.

I feel compelled to mention Future Imperfect, which is actually somehow less interesting than a discussion of grammatical tenses for which no construct exists in the English language. Which is saying a lot. It's an article of pretty pictures and no substance about the future of MMOG development, and I offer it to you so that you may point and laugh.

Slashdot gives us the best title of an article ever. And the actual article isn't too bad, though the metaphor is pretty much sheer gratuity.

Microsoft is in the console market in a big way, and being the whores that we always knew the market could sustain. First there's the announcement of multiple pricing tiers on the XBox 360, with, shockingly, most of them being the expensive price point. Then, better, funnier, we're locking third party peripheral manufacturers out. Both of these are rumor and speculation, of course, of the sort that are designed to see how loudly the hoi polloi bitch. My official position? "Meh."

Also? Dungeons and Dragons Online is delayed. Not that that's news. The news is that It's going from alpha to release in six months. LOLLERSKATES!

WHORES! I mean, Daily Duh 8/9/05

2005-08-09T09:44:00.000-07:00

Having now taken a nice, Flying Spaghetti Monster-length day break, we return with daily coverage in a sense more familiar to Intelligent Design folks. Because what image fits less with video games than intelligent design?

Someone made thousands of dollars duping in EQ2, which gives EQ2 the notable distinction of being the first MMOG where the players make more money than the developers. I mean, really. Thousands of dollars? The fuck?

The chicken speaks to Jack Thompson, and tells him that Killer 7 has sex scenes, so he must DESTROY! No, really. He's petitioning the ESRB to change the rating on a game based on IGN's account of the game. And you thought he was stupid for being a drooling anti-video game activist. But no! He's stupid for reading IGN! Which leads to the crucial question - what came first - the chicken or the Vault?

I saw the link to Ten Ways MMORPGs Will Change the Future and thought "Oh God, this will be intolerable Kosterbabble." Suffice it to say that it's not.

And finally, in the short and sweet department, Man dies after playing video games for 50 hours. Gene pool thanks him.

The Daily MY GOD THAT'S BRILLIANT

2005-06-02T12:00:00.000-07:00

This is exactly what anybody with a brain would have expected MMOGs to become. Cross-marketing, synergy, it's everything you could want. Brilliant. Absoltuely brilliant.

Please kill me.

The Daily Duh: Special Biblical Day Edition

2005-05-29T19:29:00.000-07:00

Some days are longer than others. If you think, for some reason, that we have not posted in a day, odds are you are simply confused about what a day is.

We've hit the required level of myopia where we must note that Corpnews made Slashdot for their claim that E3 is worthless. The best part of the original Corpnews article is when they say that Corpnews is a medium-large gaming website now. This is of interest primarily because, well, what kind of gaming blog would we be if we didn't needlessly start shit with other gaming blogs? We look forward to Corpnews's point by point response to our claims, because we are an ABSOLUTELY GINORMOUS GAMING WEBSITE THAT WILL CRUSH THEM!1!!1!!!1!!!

Speaking of Ginormous, it is the most popular word not in the dictionary, coming in ahead of confuzzled and our old favorite, woot. WOOT!

IGN has a list of all the PS3 games that are coming out. This includes such details as the fact that there will be a Final Fantasy game, possibly numbered 13. You know your news is sparse when you can't even identify the number of a game that's coming out.

There's a shocking amount of crap in this article, but it is notable for a bit a ways down when the EA guy says, "they still have a resident "fanboy" base, a group of customers that really love what they do and love their brands and they have the handheld business, which has been very successful for them. And it's hard to beat some of the names in terms of the games that they have. So are they competing with them? Yeah, because there are only so many console dollars in the world, but they are competing against them with a slightly different segment." He's talking about Nintendo there. What's striking here is that EA, the absolute least Nintendo-like company out there, understands Nintendo, and understands them better, I think, than Sony or Microsoft. What's depressing is that this probably means that EA's unending stream of crap is also deliberate - that they to are content to target a specific market and ignore the rest. When that market is "non-gamers who will buy anything with a license slapped on it," though, instead of gamers with roots that go back to the start of console gaming, there becomes something a bit, I dunno, cynical and upsetting about it.

And what kind of gaming news site would we be if we didn't note that they killed Morpheous. And, well, so? Does anyone play The Matrix Online? I mean, obviously people do, but that population, I figure, roughly mirrors the population that liked The Matrix Revolutions. So they're idiots. Not real people.

WNTAWDWTB: The Most Obvious Headline in the World

2005-05-20T16:23:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of Slashdot.

WNTAWDWTB: Rounding Up Some Games

2005-05-20T10:52:00.000-07:00

Ripoff, MMOG expansion, Licensed, Vapor, Vapor sequel, Sequel, Sequel, MMOG expansion, MMOG expansion, Licensed, Licensed vapor, Sequel, Remake, Sequel, Sequel, Sequel, Sequel, MMOG Expansion, Sequel, Sequel, Metroid Pinball.

WNTAWDWTB: Actually, this is normal for Microsoft and backward compatability...

2005-05-19T09:25:00.000-07:00

Microsoft suggests XBox games may need to be recompiled to play on the 360.

An interesting definition of backwards compatability - so now they'll offer XBox and XBox 360 versions of Halo and things?

Hopefully for $500 a game.

WNTAWDWTB: You know what's missing from E3?

2005-05-19T09:06:00.000-07:00

The Phantom! Where the fuck's the Phantom!

Not E3

2005-05-19T08:55:00.000-07:00

Episode 3 sucks. Here it is in a nutshell:

I'm a Jedi! OH NOS MY WIFE MIGHT DIE! NOW I MUST BE A SITH! Die Jedi Die! OH OBI-WON I HATE YOU! Clang clang clang OOPS LAVA! RISE VADER! YES MASTER! BUM BUM BUM BUM BA BUM BUM BA BUM!

if you consider those to be spoilers, suck my cock.

That puts the final score for the series at 2 OK-good movies and 4 bad.

Thus we may now declare that, in truth, Star Wars sucks.

This is all.

WNTAWDWTB: WOW!

2005-05-18T08:30:00.000-07:00

As only IGN can do, we have a story about how there's no story on WoW this E3. WOW!

WNTAWDWTB: What's IGN up to anyway?

2005-05-18T08:28:00.000-07:00

IGN notices what we noticed immediately about the PS3

Also, IGN follows Gamespot on reporting the $500 price tag.

The XBox 360 is still in alpha units at 33% power. Final development kits to come in July. And this is going to launch in Novemer. Riiight.

WNTAWDWTB: Sony vs. Gamespot

2005-05-18T08:22:00.000-07:00

Gamespot reports that the PS3 may well sell for under $500.

One of two things are true here. Sony is completely stupid for trying to sell at this price point, or Gamespot is completely stupid for reporting this. Time will tell which one it is here.

But let me just say, if this is true and the PS3 is going to be around $500... what the FUCK does Sony think it's doing?

WNTAWDWTB: What a shock. Sequels

2005-05-18T08:07:00.000-07:00

Three Metal Gear Solids. Two Castlevanias. City of Villains. And Richard Garriott's new game apparently has totally revamped.

I hate Metal Gear Solid, the only good Castlevanias in the last 8 years were for the Game Boy Advance, and even then there was only one, there is no Mac version of City of Villains, Richard Garriott is a washed up hack.

So I don't care. Glorious, sweet uncaring! The only interesting thing here is that Castlevania has abandoned its musical theme after a Rondo, a Symphony/Nocturne, a Lament, an Minuet/Aria, and a Concerto/Harmony. A Harmony of Dissonance, at that, which always struck me as one of the great bad names ever. But no Tarantella! No Ricercar! No Zarzuela! My god, no Dithyramb!

As a note to anybody, I would totally buy a game callled Dithyramb of Madness.

WNTAWDWTB: Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix

2005-05-17T16:21:00.000-07:00

Details on DDR: Mario Mix.

OK, personal time. There are two kinds of console gamers in the world, I suspect. Ones who look at this and want to go play Halo, and ones who look at this and think it sounds really, really cool. I am shamelessly in camp two. I think the idea of a sidescroller in which I use a DDR pad to play is the coolest thing ever. I think that Nintendo's announcements this E3 have been uniformly awesome. I want a GB Micro. I want a Revolution. I want DDR Mario. Dammit, I even want Metroid Prime Pinball. I definitely want that DS Mario game.

So, yeah. This has no point other than that I think this is cool, and I have no particular interest in justifying my interests. This is cool, and enough other people are going to think it's cool to make it worth doing.

WNTAWDWTB: Micro Machines 2

2005-05-17T11:04:00.000-07:00

They put the headphone jack back!. Now we just have to wonder what they left out this time. Also why Penny Arcade seems to not have their archive working right so that I had to figure out the url for that comic as a picture instead of, you know, just linking to the strip like a normal person.

WNTAWDWTB: Micro Machines

2005-05-17T10:57:00.000-07:00

The Game Boy Micro. Not sure what to say here. Nintendo wouldn't be Nintendo without constantly releasing Game Boys. This is sleek, shiny, and reinforces the idea that Nintendo is the Apple of gaming. They'll never take over the market, and they'll never go out of business. Actually, in that regard, the new Nintendo Store in NYC is probably a good idea.

Oh, and Smash Brothers Online confirmed as a Revolution launch title. Good show, good show.

WNTAWDWTB: Viva La Revolution

2005-05-17T08:52:00.000-07:00

And now we have the Revolution, which, in typical Nintendo style, ignores what everybody else is doing. Downloadable games from every console generation. Good move, Nintendo. Good move indeed. Price these downloads intelligently (Clue: Cheap. Very cheap. Consider $1 NES games) and you may well be in this.

Reports remain that the downloadable games are not, in fact, the Revolution. Who knows what it is.

WNTAWDWTB: The XBox Again

2005-05-17T07:37:00.000-07:00

Microsoft vows to unveil this console until they've won the damn console wars!

We're Not There and We Don't Want to Be: The PS3

2005-05-17T05:58:00.000-07:00

So, no surprises in the PS3 unveiling then. I find it strange that Sony is competing entirely with existing hardware here, or with their own future products though. I mean, a horrible controller design to compete with the original XBox, support for two HDTVs to compete with the DS, and a logo ripped right from the Spider-Man movies to compete with Spider-Man 3.

Of course, if you want to read about how Sony isn't giving players a persuasive reason to wait through the holiday season without buying an XBox 360, I'm sure thousands of other gaming sites exist to point this out. I bet we can get some side-by-side graphical comparisoons between the 360 and the PSP other places too. And if you think I'm going to link to them, you're sorely mistaken.

E3 Time Travelin' Wrapup

2005-05-16T16:25:00.000-07:00

Game of the year: Zelda

Nintendo's Revolution sounds intriguing, but weird and lackluster compared to Microsoft and Sony.

There are too many sequels, not enough innovation.

Nintendo needs more DS support to hope to combat the PSP.

The PSP needs a price cut to hope to combat the DS.

Online console gaming is the future.

Sony will never make its release date with enough stock. (Alternately, Sony is coming out too late to compete with the XBox 360)

The XBox 360 is launching prematurely.

Penny Arcade did some relatively unfunny sketches.

Bloggers whine and speculate excessively.

The Daily Duh: Monday 5/16/05

2005-05-16T16:05:00.000-07:00

The Daily Duh is a bit sparse today, as the usual steady flow of non-news has slowed to a trickle in anticipation of the massive flurry of non-news that will begin tomorrow, and most of the ~~whiners~~ bloggers are on planes waiting to get into E3. Starting tomorrow we'll begin our "We're Not There And We Don't Want to Be" coverage of E3, in which we, with no particularly structured plan, bitch about E3 a lot.

For today, here's what we have:

Slashdot has a story on Gamestop's story on a Time Magazine story on the XBox 360. Wonderfully, none of these are the full story, since Time requires a subscription. Upshot: Halo 3 to compete with PS3, Bill Gates to take over the world, gaming journalism to continue incestuous interlinking.

Quake 4 is on track to be delayed before Christmas. Technically this would have fit better in a Content-Free Sunday, but it's Monday, so instead I put this sentence after the pithy link.

The Guardian has a blog post about waiting for the announcement of the PS3. When I said it's a no-news day, I really wasn't kidding. The Guardian journalist is tired. That is the news. God help us all.

Blizzard acquires Swinging Ape. The only significance of this is that Blizzard realizes PC games are fucked, and grabs a console developer. Next they can try getting a console developer that, you know, releases good games on a semi-regular basis.

And finally, Ubisoft dreams of the day when Hollywood buys them instead of them having to buy press. Again, this is not news. Because there is no news. E3 is tomorrow! PREPARE FOR THE SHINIES!

Content Free Sundays

2005-05-15T08:31:00.000-07:00

Nintendo invents a strange new definition of "details" while releasing details on Revolution

A sequel to Ninja Gaiden with an even harder difficulty mode. Also an easy mode. Looks like someone figured out how to give the fans what they actually want.

IGN takes the opposite approach to E3 that we do by having "Pre-E3" coverage as well as E3 coverage. This article is on Gauntlet, because, well, Gauntlet! Have to say, though - didn't we just reinvent this franchise?

Hint of the PS3 advertising campaign

Game Girl Advance announces that the console wars are over. Ding! Gratz! announces that hubris-filled claims about the future of gaming will continue indefinitely.

Ghost of E3 Past

2005-05-14T13:42:00.000-07:00

Slashdot gives us a history of past E3s, which is probably more interesting than this year's E3 in practice. The listings are occasionally a bit weird - 2004, for instance, suspiciously fails to mention the fact that Nintendo announced a Zelda game. Little things. Still, you know, probably more interesting news there than we'll get out of E3 itself.

The Daily Duh: Friday 5/13/05

2005-05-13T08:35:00.000-07:00

First off, someone has reverse engineered the Windows XP version of Minesweeper. I'm not sure why anyone would want to do so, but in keeping with noting all the gaming "news" not worth noting, I felt this was good enough to lead off. For those of you interested, the article contains a lot of technical information about how Minesweeper was engineered. For the rest of you, some geeks did something totally useless, that will, at worst, enable people to better hack Windows XP in the future.

The World wide Nintendo store is set to open this weekend. So, if you happen to live in New York City, swing by and check out the 10,000 sq ft of Nintendo goodness. Those of you under 10 will be thrilled to learn that this is the new home of the Pokemon(R) Center, which includes an Ultra-Pokedex. Merchchu, I choose you! The rest of you lucky New Yorkers will have to be content with merchandise, gaming kiosks, and figure out a way to block the squeals of delight coming from the crowd that adores Pokemon.

In a completely unexpected move (no really, very stunned here) after the announcement that the Xbox 360 would release this year, Sony has announced that it is likely the PS3 will follow suit. A Sony representative said a release in 2005 is possible, but industry watchers said the intent was more aimed at knocking some wind out of the sails of the announced Xbox 360 release.

Speaking of the Xbox 360, a full unveiling took place on MTV last night. Everything was covered, hardware, graphics, release titles, editor opinions... Well, everything except an actual release date and pricing. But this year. Definitely this year. Before that PS3 thingy anyway. Maybe.